Perspective of a big sister.

I haven’t written since October. 

That is a very sad statement, in the eyes of a once-avid blogger like myself. Life has been anything but silent, boring, and not-blog-worthy, but I believe God hasn’t given me the right words to share for a reason. 

None of it matters now. 

I have tried to write a blog post summarizing everything I’ve learned this past semester, but every time I had gone to write it, I blanked. I sat at the computer, staring at the screen, frustrated at the ever-blinking cursor…and gave up. 

Until now. 

Now, I sit here, with a heavy heart, a grieving spirit, and no words to express the heartache and shock I feel for Newtown, CT.

None of my little trials compare to numerous deaths, many of which belong to innocent little children. It shook me to the point of complete silence for several hours yesterday. I couldn’t believe the news and couldn’t fathom the devastation those families must be feeling right now. I prayed over and over again: Lord, You are holy and You are strength. Give those families strength. Give them comfort as they enter this dark and empty future without their children. Help them, Lord. Help them.

As a big sister to three brothers (one of whom is in third grade), my heart goes out, specifically, to all the big sisters of Newtown. As big sisters, our “job” is to protect, to care for, and to encourage our little siblings. For those big sisters, I pray they will find a sense of comfort. I pray for strength and a level-headed mindset as they venture towards the future.  

In the middle of the Christmas season, tragedy struck. To me, listening to cheery Christmas songs is awkward, uncomfortable, and feels completely wrong. While listening to my iTunes library this morning, I had to switch from Christmas music to another playlist. After putting it on shuffle, In Christ Alone began to play. I stopped. That song is too hard, but so full of what the Gospel is all about. So full of Jesus. “In Christ alone, my hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song…”  Lord, You are strength. You are comfort. You are holy. Help them. Help us. Help this nation. 

Honestly, words have just run out. I wish there was more I could say, but words have disappeared again. Join and pray with me for the families, for the big sisters, for the moms, for the dads, the friends, the relatives… 

Pray for Newtown, CT. 


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